Services:

Couples Counseling

I have been trained by the leaders in couples therapy, Harville Hendrix and Dan Brown. I have vast experience in listening to both Couples problems and strengths. You are already the expert on what is not working in your relationship. Perhaps the problems have become predictable and seemingly inevitable. Couples start with these differences that create conflict and distance in the relationship. Each of you might like the other "fixed." You both agree that your relationship needs changing. Perhaps one of you agrees to the changes more than the other agrees. We can help you find a healthy direction together while respecting your individual differences.

Couples' counseling is about "our problem." The problem lies in the internal and external issues unique to both of you. Couples' work is about courage, awareness, teamwork and, most importantly- skills. The courage to follow through, the awareness to identify patterns, and the ability to connect through healthy communication- speaking and listening, with the combined purpose and goal of coming together as a team. These skills are often taken for granted  until something goes wrong. The cliché "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" applies here. We will work with you to remedy learned habits that create distance between the two of you, and help you to learn Gold standard skills, based on the patterns of communication between you now that lead to episodes of anger and withdrawal and prevent togetherness.

If you would like to discuss the options of whether change is right for you, or just learn more about the experience of practicing new skills in a safe, therapeutic environment that can lead to changes in your relationship, please call or email us to arrange an initial consult to see if we are right for you.

Divorce Counseling

Divorce is a critical life experience involving change and crisis, but also opportunity. Healthy communication and insight is the key to new and better relationships and resolving grief and loss. If you are considering divorce, talking with a therapist is a vital tool to gain understanding, make informed choices, and to avoid similar pitfalls in the future.

If divorce is the best option for you, you will need support through the ups and downs involved in the divorce process.

At Montclair Health Associates, we have over twenty five years’ experience writing custody reports for divorcing families and counseling individuals and couples- whether they are divorcing or staying together to try to work things out.

  • Feeling overwhelmed? We'll help you gather your thoughts, create a plan, and put your best foot forward.

  • What will my life be like should I divorce? We'll help you with the transitions and adjustments.

  • What do I do if things seem impossible? We'll show you how to deal with impossible situations to minimize conflict

  • How do I talk to friends, children, and family members about my divorce? We'll help you determine what to say and decide if it's in your best interest.

  • What can I expect from the process as a divorcing Woman or Man? We'll share our expertise in these and other difficult situations.

  • What about future concerns; Stepparenting, custody, finances? We'll help you manage and get ready for your future. 

Stress, Anxiety, and Phobias

Anxiety is often not just a matter of being too anxious. Anxiety is typically experienced as a sudden spell of feeling frightened, anxious, or terrified in a situation where most people would not feel afraid. Anxiety symptoms often mimic the signs of medical illness. When a situation is identified as a threat, an automatic bodily response follows. Some people feel as if they are going to have a heart attack, collapse, faint, go crazy, or perhaps die. These physical feelings reinforce the anxiety. The person then focuses on the feelings and not the issue that caused the feelings. It is the fear of the panic or anxiety itself, regardless of where they occur, that is the primary problem. Time is then spent fearfully anticipating the next attack or avoiding life situations. When many situations begin to pose a serious threat, and panic becomes frequent and distressing to the point of interfering with day-to-day functioning, seeking help is important.

Since the time of the ancient Greeks, there have been consistent reports of a problem causing the most irrational fears in otherwise rational persons. It was not until the end of the nineteenth century that this came to be known as agoraphobia, which literally translated means "fear of the marketplace". While a fear of particular situations characterizes the majority of panic symptoms, evidence suggests that these situational fears are not the primary fears in panic. Individuals with anxiety are responding appropriately to their thoughts, it's just that the thoughts are often not appropriate to the situation. In this sense, panic is a false alarm, and stress increases our sensitivity to being alarmed. It's like a car alarm going off at the wrong time. Everyone has thoughts, feelings, and behaviors throughout the day. These thoughts, feelings, and behaviors influence each other. Sometimes, people are unaware of these influences, especially the influence of thoughts on feelings. It is easy to assume that events lead directly to emotions. This is most important, because it may lead people to believe that they have no influence over the way they think, feel, or behave. This leads to panic and anxiety.

The symptoms of anxiety begin with a situation that is assessed as a threat and excessive unwanted feelings develop. Most events that cause excessive anxiety are complex, and the full meaning given to the life event takes some time to unfold, appraise accurately, and develop coping skills to deal with in a healthy way. Most people become anxious when threatened by loss of love, position, wealth, or safety. Many events that appear threatening at the time are found to be harmless. It is not the things that go "bump in the night" that produce anxiety, but the meaning given to them. These false meanings are learned early in life and continue to be accepted as accurate. It is the incorrect appraisal of the event that identifies the event as a threat. Many people were taught to fear and avoid situations that produce normal anxiety and so react to anxiety as if it were abnormal, and then generate more fear and worsen their symptoms. The anxiety experienced is consistent with fight or flight responses, symptoms that if left untreated, become long lasting, and turn into feelings of despair and create irrational fears.

Insomnia and sleep related problems

Simply stated, insomnia is trouble with sleep. It's our body's way of telling us something isn't right.  Any of these symptoms could mean you are experiencing insomnia: trouble falling asleep; trouble staying asleep; waking up too early; and, experiencing non-restorative sleep (sleeping more than 7 hours on average per night but not feeling refreshed upon waking). If you are feeling fatigued during the daytime, experiencing a loss of focus, or are irritable from a lack of sleep you may benefit from insomnia care.

Your symptoms can be primary (not related to any other health problem, such as a change in your daily routines) or secondary (caused by a medical condition such as asthma, anxiety, depression, stimulant use- such as caffeine, and, chronic sleeping medication use). I have studied with Dr. Greg Jacobs, sleep expert at Harvard Medical School and can find my name here:

https://www.cbtforinsomnia.com/clinicians-recently-trained-by-dr-jacobs/

Insomnia : Important Questions to Consider

  • Are you experiencing more tension or stress recently? Feel like you have no time for yourself?

  • Have your daily routines been disrupted or changed for any reason?

  • Have your physical activity levels decreased? Too busy or just can't find time for exercise? Or, exercise just prior to bedtime?

  • Has falling asleep or staying asleep become more difficult as you have become older?

  • Are you taking some type of sleep aid medication (Ambien or Halcion)?

  • Are you using your bedroom for things other than sleep and sex?

  • How close to bedtime do you eat? How big a meal?

  • What do you do when you can't fall asleep? Read in bed? Watch television? Get up to eat or drink?

Trauma Counseling including Death and Dying Guidance

Following a trauma, some people may develop an acute reaction to seeing or experiencing a frightening event. The person's age will affect how the event is experienced. For example, a young child may refuse to go to school and become more "clingy" in behavior. An adolescent may become more argumentative while minimizing her/his concerns. Adults may withdraw, express feeling "numb" or in "shock" and become preoccupied with the events of the trauma. Common reactions include disbelief, denial, anxiety, relief, grief, hostility, and altruism. Somatic problems such as loss of appetite, headaches, and sleep disturbances are commonly observed. Some of these reactions may take weeks, and possibly months, to appear.

Children and families are having a normal reaction to an abnormal situation.

Grief reactions peak within days of the event and then wane over weeks and months

Calmly providing emotional support to children and families is significant to reducing fear. Use words a child can understand when discussing traumatic events

All fears need to be treated as genuine and, talking should be encouraged

Maintain a structured and predictable schedule as best as is possible. Children benefit from order when their routines have been disrupted

Feelings of sadness and anxiety are common for all age groups after a trauma

Depression (persistent symptoms) is not the same as sadness, which is usual after a trauma. Consider seeking counseling should depression persist

Guilt feelings may arise and attempts to assign blame to oneself are counterproductive

Rebuilding lives, families, and communities is what is important

Explain that all is being done that can be done to return to normal life

Caretakers should communicate to children that they have done everything to keep them safe, that this violence is over, and it is isolated to specific areas

Terrorist acts are reckless acts of desperation and dread performed to create a traumatic response

Lashing out with hostility will only cause more harm, possibly to innocent people

Overexposure to the media can itself be traumatizing; avoid repetitious viewing of news footage

Answer questions reassuringly but honestly

Accept that trauma has painful procedures and that most people are "good"

Increase time together as a family, encourage connectedness, and schedule family events, including time for exercise which has shown to reduce stress

Providing comfort and support over time will help; try not to expect an immediate positive response 

Behavioral medicine

Behavioral Medicine is a profound resource for people facing physical symptoms of stress, pain, illness, and disease, and can be used as a compliment to whatever your doctors and the health care system as a whole can do for you, to move you toward greater levels of health and well being. Behavioral medicine offers help by using the powerful, well-known connection between psychology, medicine, and our physical health. Behavioral health care works together with medical treatment, combining treatments to allow for a more positive medical result for people who find that they want to do everything possible for themselves for the health of their mind and body.

By understanding the importance of psychological distress and the effects of feelings and emotions on our body we can adjust our behaviors and positively affect our own health. Behavioral Medicine treatment focuses only on what you want help with. Some important benefits of Behavioral medicine are: increased satisfaction with health care; better treatment outcomes; and, reducing unnecessary medical care such as excessive medication use.

There are many physical problems that have shown improvement by adding Behavioral Medicine treatment and we gladly offer help with many problems.

Acute & Chronic Stress Reduction
Addictive Behaviors
Anxiety
Asthma (Inflammatory & Bronchospasm)
Cancer Coping
Depression
Erectile Dysfunction (ED)
Fibromyalgia
Headaches: Tension, Migraines & Organic
Hypertension (High Blood Pressure)
Immune System Disorders
Inflammatory Bowel Disease & Irritable Bowel Syndrome
Insomnia, SAD, & Sleep Disorders
Obesity
Pain: Coping, Management & Treatment
Sexual Health & Sexual Problems
Smoking and Over Eating Problems and Regulation
Keep questions page?

Insurance

Please complete the Client Information form at your convenience.   I utilize an in-house billing person so your data is secure. I will be happy to discuss your insurance coverages with you. I accept most insurances and will bill your insurance company for you. In the rare case that we are not a provider on your MCO, I will provide you with insurance billing statements, which I will help you to use so you can file an insurance claim for reimbursement. Some plans require pre-certification and I suggest that you call your insurance company ahead of time to become familiar with your coverage and plan requirements. Please let me know if you have any additional questions about your insurance. Click here to email me.